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 Post subject: zoo
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 1:15 pm 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
a man went to a zoo - but all it had in it was one dog - it was a shitzu


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Thu Feb 18, 2016 10:38 am 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
Hmm, been over two years without anyone else posting a joke - so -

Where did Noah keep his bees?

- in the Ark hives


See you again in a couple years time!


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 10:30 am 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
Never mind, can't wait another two years -

I have a friend who is addicted to brake fluid - he says he can stop any time!

Me? I gave away all my dead batteries today - free of charge!


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Thu Apr 13, 2017 6:55 pm 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
hmm - more than a year gone by again!

so . .

The bartender said "We don't serve time travellers!"
A time traveller walks into a bar.


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Tue May 02, 2017 9:09 pm 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
A mummy balloon, a daddy balloon and a baby balloon are watching tv When the parents announce they are ready for bed, but the baby balloon is OK to stay up a little while longer. They head off to bed, and an hour later, baby balloon finishes his show, and goes to the bedroom.

As they are balloons and have no real sources of income, they live in a 1 bedroom apartment, and have to share a bed. The baby balloon tries to get into bed, but mummy balloon and daddy balloon are just so big that he can't squeeze in. So, he goes to daddy balloon, unties his knot and lets out a little air, and tries getting into bed again: Still not enough room. He then goes to mummy balloon and unties her knot and lets a little air out: A little better, but still not enough. So, he unties his own knot, lets out some air, and is able to fit comfortably into bed.

The next morning, baby balloon wakes up to find his parents are not there. He goes into the kitchen to find mummy and daddy balloon sitting at the table looking pretty angry. Daddy balloon says, 'Son, we are pretty upset about what you did last night. You let me down, you let your mother down, but worst of all, you let yourself down.'


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 1:54 am 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
I told my psychiatrist that I'm hearing voices.
He said you don't have a psychiatrist.


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2017 9:40 am 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
I just got back from the zoo. I saw a slice of toast lying in one of the enclosures. It was bread in captivity.


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 12:56 am 
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1st team
1st team

Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2009 6:15 pm
Posts: 1994
I look forward to seeing your new jokes.


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 10:12 am 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
I don't listen too much to statistics - they tell us the average person has one breast and one testicle . .


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2017 1:41 pm 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
“You know how it is in life. One door closes – that means another door opens…”
 
“Yeah, very nice, but you either fix that or I’m expecting a serious discount on that car!”


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:27 pm 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
A guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.

The bartender says "Pal, if you want a punch you'll have to stand in line."
The guy looks around, but there is no punch line. . .


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 12:36 pm 
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The Gaffer
The Gaffer
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Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2005 3:24 pm
Posts: 15022
Location: Africa. I can hear Lions and Tigers
:like: :rolllaugh:


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 9:53 pm 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
I've just started a band. We are called called 999 Megabytes — We haven’t got a gig yet.


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 11:26 pm 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
Actually I used to play soccer for the Harriers - I was the left back - when the others went out I was left back in the changing rooms :(


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 Post subject: Re: zoo
PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:49 am 
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Youth team
Youth team

Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:49 am
Posts: 79
I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh.
Sadly, no pun in 10 did.


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