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Re: zoo

Posted: Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:56 pm
by andrewb
A potato wearing glasses came to see the Harriers play - he was a SpecTater . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Wed Aug 21, 2019 9:24 pm
by andrewb
I had a happy childhood - my dad used to put me inside a tyre and roll me down a hill - they were Goodyears . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Sat Sep 28, 2019 2:55 pm
by andrewb
I did a survey on how people walk home from the pub - the results were staggering . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Mon Sep 30, 2019 9:43 am
by andrewb
I had this crazy dream where I was virtually weightless - I was like 0mg !

Re: zoo

Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 9:37 am
by andrewb
I asked the lion in my wardrobe what he was doing there . . . . .He said it was "Narnia business"

Re: zoo

Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 10:47 am
by andrewb
I was upset with the state of the Harriers at the moment. My friend said "Cheer up, it could be worse. You could be stuck in a deep hole full of water."
I know he means well . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Tue Oct 08, 2019 6:19 pm
by andrewb
I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a harp. The host said my costume was too small to be a harp. I said "Are you calling me a lyre?"

Re: zoo

Posted: Wed Oct 23, 2019 1:28 pm
by brumkidd
The urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away.....a whim away...a whim away....

Re: zoo

Posted: Tue Nov 05, 2019 10:30 pm
by andrewb
Police arrested two kids - one for eating batteries, the other for eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Re: zoo

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2019 8:50 pm
by andrewb
My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defence - I've had a lot on my plate recently . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Tue Dec 03, 2019 11:20 am
by andrewb
Can you give someone a skin graft from your bum - just ass skin for a friend . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Fri Dec 20, 2019 11:21 pm
by andrewb
Oh no! I've just accidently swallowed the cat's tablets - don't ask meow . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 12:31 pm
by andrewb
People are saying I have stolen these jokes off others and that I am a plagiarist - their words not mine . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2020 12:35 am
by andrewb
Did you know that 97% of the world are bad at maths - luckily I'm in the other 5% . . .

Re: zoo

Posted: Sun Feb 09, 2020 10:14 pm
by andrewb
I have some racing geese for sale - Let me know if you want a quick gander . . .