zoo

The place for your jokes, funny pics and anything else that tickles your fancy.

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andrewb
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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Fri Sep 08, 2023 9:34 am

I was once married to a cross eyed lady. But we just didn't see eye to eye on anything - also she was seeing someone on the side . . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Thu Sep 28, 2023 3:16 pm

I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes - but at the moment its just a draft . . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Mon Oct 02, 2023 6:04 pm

Last night I was woken by 6 Harriers players outside my house playing football with a hedgehog. I was absolutely disgusted and just about to phone the RSPCA when the hedgehog went a goal up! :wall:

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Sat Oct 21, 2023 11:47 am

If I had a penny for every time someone called me old-fashioned, I’d have eight pounds, twelve shillings and thruppence!

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Sat Oct 28, 2023 3:03 pm

My friend gave me a present of a calculator that is supposed to work by the power of the mind! Sounds stupid to me, but I suppose its the thought that counts . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Mon Nov 13, 2023 12:57 am

The best character in "The Wizard of Oz" is certainly the Scarecrow - I mean it's a no-brainer . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Sun Dec 17, 2023 10:49 pm

I've just failed my ventriloquist's exam - can't say I'm surprised . . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Wed Jan 24, 2024 3:40 pm

The members of my crossword club are furious because people keep leaving…....We're three down and two are cross!

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Tue Jan 30, 2024 1:30 am

I bought a dog from a blacksmith. As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door . . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Fri Mar 01, 2024 1:56 am

I have two half sisters. My father was a terrible magician . . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Fri Mar 15, 2024 5:02 pm

I mostly test a joke first on giraffes - so it doesn't go over their heads . . .

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Re: zoo

Post by andrewb » Sun Apr 07, 2024 12:33 pm

I told my doctor, "I think I'm shrinking!". He said, "Relax, you'll just have to be a little patient."

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