more jokes

Clean jokes and memes only please.

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andrewb
Youth team
Youth team
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Sep 23, 2024 8:35 pm
Well - rather like match of the day, here are the highlights of the last 10 or so years! - One joke on each Line(ker) so I have had to Shearer them down a bit.

1- My work colleague was telling me that he failed his exam in Aboriginal music...I said, "Didja redo it?

2- I throw biro lids across the room to get rid of my pen top aggression.

3- i hate my job - All i do is crush cans all day - Its soda pressing .

4 - The only thing flat-earthers fear - is sphere itself.

5- i tried to phone the tinnitus helpline, but it just kept ringing . . .

6 - Some people make me sick - maybe I should cook them for longer . . .

7 - I had to take the battery out of my carbon monoxide alarm - the constant ringing was making me sick and dizzy

8 - I once bought a dog from a blacksmith. As soon as i got him home he made a bolt for the door . . .

9 - I once worked at a bakery to get by. I kneaded the dough . . .

10 - When I was a kid my parents used to make me walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.

11 My wife laughed when I said I could make a car out of spagetti. You should have seen her face when i drove pasta . . .
Jack Hammer
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2024 10:12 am
If you like similar jokes, here are a bundle of them, taken from Bob Mortimer's Peter Beardsley character in his Athletico Mince podcast.


https://thenorthernhalf.wordpress.com/2020/11/23/peter-beardsleys-joke-book/
andrewb
Youth team
Youth team
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Sep 23, 2024 8:35 pm
A contestant on Australian Bake Off made a meringue and the crowd cheered which is unusual. Australians normally boo meringues . . .
andrewb
Youth team
Youth team
Posts: 39
Joined: Mon Sep 23, 2024 8:35 pm
There was once a king who was only 12 inches tall. Terrible king, great ruler.
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